I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
