I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
