Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
