You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
cat food counts as protein by the way
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
