i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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