Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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