They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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