why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
