Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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