Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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