I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
