Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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