Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
