You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
