what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
