So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
