worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
