I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she peed on how many people?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
