This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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