i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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