He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
