absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
