ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
