i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
