Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I will be naked everywhere
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
