He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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