I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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