I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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