i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
