my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
