guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
