And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
