I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
