Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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