Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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