Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
