No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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