they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
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