just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
