Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
