I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
