Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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