he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
