I need help removing her.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
