yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
