I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
FUCK WHALES
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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