I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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