Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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