watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
