remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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